Before He Cheats
by digigirl27
Summary: H/W The whole scene before my eyes just made my blood boil. From House's POV. Rated M just in case.


Hi! Just so you all know, this fic has a lot of firsts for me. This is my first House, M.D. fic, my first H/W fic, and aslo my first attempt at something pretty naughty (is embarrassed).

I hope no one has already done a fic of these two to this song.

Disclaimer: I don't own House or Wilson. Not even Carrie Underwood's song, "Before He Cheats." I know, it sucks.

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I'd always known that one day it would happen. I just didn't know when….

**Right now he's probably slow dancing with a bleach blond tramp,  
and she's probably getting frisky...  
right now, he's probably buying her some fruity little drink cause she can't shoot whiskey...**

**Right now, he's probably up behind her with a pool-stick, showing her how to shoot a combo...**

**And he don't know...**

But now here I was outside of some run down bar I've never heard of before, sitting in a car across the street with the private detective I hired, watching Wilson trying seduce some pretty little thing he'd probably just met. The whole scene before my eyes just made my blood boil.

A part of me still couldn't help but be a little surprised at what I was witnessing. Wilson and I had been together for _years_ and as an official couple for a few months, which is more than I gave him credit for. Everything was going great and my fear of him leaving me for someone else had dissipated.

I thought he had finally changed his ways and wanted to be with me. I guess it didn't take him too long to get bored with me and want to move on to someone new.

That fucking, cheating son of a bitch…

"Wow," Lucas said, breaking the silence and distracting me from my thoughts, "that really sucks."

Ignoring him, I unbuckled my seatbelt and grabbed my cane. I didn't want to just sit here and watch and do nothing while some girl was trying to get Wilson back to his panty-peeling ways.

"Hey, where are you going?" the private detective asked as I opened the passenger door.

I was so pissed that I almost couldn't get out the words I wanted to say. "Just go away. I'll pay you your fee tomorrow."

I must've had a really dark look and tone, because Lucas didn't say anything. He just nodded and started the car. After I stepped out of his car, he cast a glance at me that looked like pity and drove away.

After he left, I just stood there and watched Wilson and his new 'friend.' My mind was trying to come up with ways to interrupt their little date and humiliate the hell out of Wilson.

One of my plans was to walk in there and say to Wilson, "I know you wanted a threesome, babe, but I thought you wanted to invite another guy, not a girl." Oh, that was sure to get Wilson blushing. It would probably also ruin his chances with any other women.

But that was just one of my ideas. I had plenty more where that one came from, but all of the schemes I came up with always somehow ended with me giving Wilson one of the hottest kisses of his life and telling the girl to back the fuck off and that he's mine, or knocking her out with my cane, dragging Wilson home, and showing him just exactly who he belongs to.

With that in mind, I started to head towards the entrance to the bar. But before I could even reach out my arm to open the door, I saw Wilson stand up and he looked just about read to leave. Hmm, so maybe I'd mistaken their intentions. Maybe I wouldn't have to ruin their night as I'd originally planned to do.

But what happened next made my jaw drop. Wilson held out his hand to the girl and apparently asked her to dance, because just like that, they were making their way to the dance floor. The bleach blond tramp wrapped her arms around his waist while his were wrapped around her waist.

I stood there dumbstruck, but then a quick wave of anger and jealousy hit me like a ton of bricks. Okay, _now_ I was really pissed.

After a few more minutes of watching them, I managed to calm myself down and I decided not to confront Wilson and embarrass him. A much more brilliant plan was forming in my head.

**That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,  
carved my name into his leather seats...  
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,  
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...**

I reached into my pocket for the ring of keys I always carried with me. That key ring had all the keys I needed; the keys to my office, apartment, motorcycle, some restricted areas in the hospital, and finally, Wilson's car. He'd given me a spare key to his car some time back for our three-month anniversary.

At the time, I didn't know why he would give me a spare key to his car. I never liked driving cars in the first place. That was what my motorcycle was for. But now, I was glad that he'd given it to me.

I scanned the bar's parking lot for the familiar vehicle and once I spotted it, I began making my way toward it.

I pulled out my keys and before I knew it, I was dragging them across the side of his car. Damn, did that feel satisfying! But it still wasn't enough; I wanted to do more damage. Another idea popped into my head. So the next thing I did was unlock the trunk and search for that Swiss Army knife I knew he had for emergencies. Honestly, that man was prepared for anything and all he had to do was look in the trunk of his car for whatever he needed.

After I found the tool I was looking for, I made my way around to the driver's side of the car, unlocked the door, and opened it.

I flipped open the blade and stood there, not quite believing what I was about to do. I snapped out of my disbelief and climbed into the car. I knelt on the driver's seat, keeping most of the weight off of my bad leg, and started carving my name into the leather of the seat.

'_Greg House'_ was what was displayed in big letters.

The sight of my name carved so neatly into his seat made me feel so good, so good that I continued carving my name all over the rest of his car. When I was done, I sat back and admired work. I decided to also slash all four of his tires since I already had the knife out. Even though the task was completed in a few minutes, I still wasn't completely satisfied.

Many more ideas were popping into my head, but I was pretty sure that I was running out of time. It wouldn't be long before Wilson and his latest conquest decided it was time to leave. So I quickly got out of the car, well, as fast as I could with a bum leg, and went around to the front of the car.

I lifted my cane up like I was holding a baseball bat and started smashing the crap out of the car's headlights, pretending it was the bitch that was with Wilson.

When I was done, one more little idea came to mind. I went back to the trunk of the car and searched for what I needed. Once I found what I was looking for, I got into the car, and unzipped my pants. I tore open the wrapper of the condom I had found and rolled it onto my half hard dick. Then I began jerking off to the hottest and most naughty images I could conjure up. Like having Wilson's new girl watch me fuck him. Damn, that was hot! The next thing I knew, I was coming hard.

Once I caught my breath, I slipped off the condom and tossed it onto the passenger seat where I knew the girl was bound to see it.

I quickly zipped myself up, grabbed my cane, and got out of the car. Then I went around, closing all the car doors that I had opened and the trunk even though there really was no point. The damage was done and I'm pretty sure nobody would want to steal Wilson's car. Not after what I did to it. After that was done with, I made my way to the pay phone that I had seen down the street before and called for a cab.

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As the cab was driving me home, I pictured how the whole scene would play out when Wilson and his date discovered what I'd done to his car. The very thought made me break out into an evil, satisfied grin.

**Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.**

That girl can have Wilson to herself, for all I care. I just hope that she knows what she's getting herself into…

**Right now, she's probably up singing some  
white-trash version of Shania karaoke..  
Right now, she's probably saying "I'm drunk"  
and he's a thinking that he's gonna get lucky,  
Right now, he's probably dabbing on 3 dollars worth of that bathroom polo...  
And he don't know...**

**That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,  
carved my name into his leather seats,  
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,  
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...**

**Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.**

**I might've saved a little trouble for the next girl,  
Cause the next time that he cheats...**

**Oh, you know it won't be on me!**

**No...not on me  
'Cause I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,  
carved my name into his leather seats...  
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,  
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...**

**Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.**

**Oh.. Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats...**

**Ooh... before he cheats...**

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So there you have it! I hope you've enjoyed my fic.

I just gotta say that I can totally picture House doing something like this if Wilson ever cheated on him.


End file.
